On tonight’s stream of the Red Eye Report, we talk about the World’s Fair a.k.a the biggest dick measuring contest on the planet.
With me tonight is Teddy. He was actually a part of the 1982 World’s Fair in Knoxville, Tennessee. Teddy was inside one of those little R2D2 robots until a horse from one of the exhibitions kicks him over the rail and into the river. His life is showbiz hasn’t improved since.
Next to Teddy we have Ashtray. He was the DJ at the turn of the millennium party held in Hannover, Germany in 2000. Ashtray played all the big hits: Brittany Spears, Cher, Christina Aguilera. Then he tried slipping in some Limp Bizkit. Let’s just say they went Du Hast on his ass and he was never invited back.
We also have
Mistic. He was at the expo of ‘74 in Spokane, Washington. The event was supposed to be about “Celebrating Tomorrow’s Fresh Environment.” The global hippies couldn’t have anticipated Mistic’s unique scent of 4 month without a shower ball cheese, regurgitated pubes, and taco bell diarrhea. Attendance for the expo ended up being the lowest recorded in 100 years.
Finally there’s me, Oracle. My last fair was 1893 in Chicago— you know, the most important one, The World’s Colombian Exposition. There was a lot of cocaine. Oh yeah, and some dipshit invented the zipper….because he was high on cocaine. Ohhhh the good ole days. This is the Red Eye Report.
World’s Columbian Exhibition
Oracle: The Horror of Dolores Roach
Ashtray: Antarctic diary records horror at finding Captain Scott’s body
Teddy: Ring doorbell
Fuck What You Think
Oracle: Basic Website Functionality
Ashtray: To Upgrade, or not to Upgrade?
Teddy: Once upon a Deadpool
In all Seriousness: Go fuck yourself New Jersey. That’s our show, we’re gonna be here every Wednesday night at 10pm central, make sure you join the conversation at theredeyereport.com or facebook.com/theredeyereport…..you can also twittle us at twitter.com/red_eye_report….like us, share us, or fuck us, we’re down for whatever. I’m Oracle…………….and this is the RED EYE REPORT!!!!!