In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss Touch DNA. We’ve gotten pretty good at detecting DNA, but has the technology become too sensitive? Our DNA is EVERYWHERE! Also in the show, Teddy gives his impression of Jedi Survivor and kids can now serve you booze in Wisconsin.

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In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss Touch DNA. With me tonight is mammoth meat blaster Mistic. He’s oozing DNA at all times at an extraordinary rate. To counter his constant melting, he has to ingest whatever is in front of him. We also have tell them I didn’t have anything to do with this Teddy. Just listening to stories about touch DNA might land Teddy in prison for life. Thank you for signing up to take the fall on this one Teddy. We also have Ashtray. No additional play on words is needed for this repeat offender. He’s a legend in the touch DNA community. His bodily fluids as so prevalent, they can’t be found in Antarctica and at the bottom of the Dead Sea. Finally there’s me, O – don’t touch me Oracle. We’re constantly shedding cells, and I can’t stop thinking about your dead skin flaking off in my food like pork rinds, stay the fuck away from me, and this is the Red Eye Report!

Touch DNA

We are losing a lot of skin cells

How Much Human Skin Does a Person Ingest Over the Course of Their Lifetime? (

Double edged sword

How Forensic DNA Evidence Can Lead to Wrongful Convictions – JSTOR Daily

Amanda Knox

Forensics gone wrong: When DNA snares the innocent | Science | AAAS

Phantom of Heilbronn

Germany’s Phantom Serial Killer: A DNA Blunder – TIME

Perils of Touch DNA

‘Touch DNA’ Evidence Can Lead to Convictions for Innocent People | National Review

What’s Sexy 

Oracle: John Mulaney: Baby Jay

(35) John Mulaney: “Baby J” | Official Teaser | Netflix – YouTube

Mistic: Fired on Mars. 

Teddy: Jedi Survivor 


Fuck What You Think

Oracle: What the hell is going on?

Harpy Daniels Slammed by Navy SEAL Who Took Down bin Laden: ‘I’m Done’ (

Mistic: Wtf. Wisconsin.

Ashtray: Done “attack” on the Kremlin

Teddy:  False Threats

In all Seriousness: Go fuck yourself …..

That’s our show, we’re gonna be here every Wednesday or Thursday night at 10pm central, make sure you join the conversation at or… can also twittle us @redeye_report….like us, share us, or fuck us, we’re down for whatever. I’m Teddy…………….and this is the RED EYE REPORT!!!!!

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