Tonight we’re talking about spooky places. Do you believe in gagagaghosts?

Speaking of spooky places, Ashtray comes to us live from his spooky apartment. Well, I guess it’s not spooky if you’re packing a sawed-off shotgun and have had your orifices sewn shut. I don’t know where the fuck I’m going with this.

Speaking of sewn orifices, we also have Mistic. His pud flaps are about as creepy as they come. What is a pud flap you ask? I have no fucking idea. Is it a gut flap? Your balls? The gut flap that hangs over your balls?

We also have Teddy. You know what the spookiest thing ever is? When Teddy is in a room and he hasn’t said anything for 20 seconds. Chills a man right to the bone. I guess you’ll never get to know what that feels like listeners.

Finally, there’s me, Oracle. I too have pud flaps. They reside under my nipples. And this is the Red Eye Report.

Spooky Places


Winchester Mystery House


Inside Chernobyl


Byford Dolphin

What’s Sexy

Teddy: Floor Kids


Mistic:  Paoli

Oracle: Red Dead Redemption 2


Ashtray: Flix Brewhouse

Fuck what you think

Oracle: Toxic retards

Mistic: Halloween Candy

Teddy: Street Walkers

Ashtray: Megan Kelly character removed from drama about Roger Ailes


In all Seriousness: Go fuck yourself Depew, New York. That’s our show, we’re gonna be here every Wednesday night at 10pm central, make sure you join the conversation at theredeyereport.com or facebook.com/theredeyereport…..you can also twittle us at twitter.com/red_eye_report….like us, share us, or fuck us, we’re down for whatever. I’m the Mistic…………….and this is the RED EYE REPORT!!!!!