Outline for Red Eye Report

Scott Marmaduke – Nome, AK – Teddy: If there were an intruder in your house, would you a) Hit him with a bat b) make him fuck a stuffed animal in front of your mother in law or c) bore him to death with your atrocious choices in video games?
Judy Montgomery – Omaha, NE – Oracle: Would you rather fuck a dolphin without a condom, or take an Albanian to dinner at Olive Garden?
Tom Davidson – Hampton, NY – Ashtray: You seem like an upscale individual, like us here in the Hamptons. What the hell are you doing with these savages?

Fuck What You Think (7 minutes):

Oracle: Brazilian Death Trip

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-latin-america-31893331

Ashtray: Scott Walker Trying to get into Nancy Reagan’s Pants

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/scott-walker-reagan-bible-curator

Mistic: Tom Cotton

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/tom-cotton-us-senator-apparently-does-not-know-the-capital-of-iran-10111640.html

Teddy: Roast of Justin Beiber

http://www.cc.com/shows/roast-of-justin-bieber

In all seriousness: In all seriousness, I truly believe that you need to take some sort of test before you can take public office. The 100 senators that represent our nation, need to at least know general, 5th grade level geography. Otherwise, they have absolutely not god damn business telling anybody what they can or can’t do with their own lives. You Tom Cotton, are a fucking idiot and I hope you get charged, along with the other 46 morons in the Senate, for treason. That being said, I wish you nothing but the best in your future endeavors, which will not doubt include the line, “Welcome to Wal-mart”. That’s our show, make sure you join the conversation at theredeyereport.com, or our facebook. Facebook.com/theredeyereport…….like us, share us, or fuck us, we’re down for whatever. I’m the Mistic……and this is the RED EYE REPORT……