On this episode of the Red Eye Report, we talk about scandals and two of the evilest greedy white men you have ever heard of. I try to stay awake while Ashtray is talking. And we tell you to go fuck yourself and curse a lot as usual.
With us this week is Ashtray. Ashtray’s on the lam after we discovered Betty subjected his father to slave labor while making those horrible fucking my light lighters. Like an idiot he posted pics of his father chained to a desk doing manual labor, leading to the scandal investigation.
Next to him is the Mistic. Mistic was briefly indicted for The disappearance of his long-lost love his buddy Heyrod, but when it was discovered that Heyrod was not missing just hibernating under a bunch of dirty clothes the charges are dropped.
Then there’s Oracle. Oracle was investigated when a dog at one of the bases he was stationed at was found beaten to death in a sack. But since he had a solid alibi and no murder weapon was ever found he was honorably discharged.
And finally, I’m Teddy. I’m black so just pick something and I’ve probably done it or been charged with it. and my agreement with mistic he wants me to tell everybody that he loves the cock I don’t know why but I think he’s brave for coming out and saying it and this is the red eye report.
Kids for Cash
Mistic: Formula 1: Drive to Survive
Oracle: Galvanized steel pipe
Ashtray: Olivia Jade loses her sponsors
Teddy: Love after lockup
Fuck What You Think
Teddy: Schools close because of weather
Oracle: Cry babies ruining single player games
Ashtray: Health Insurance stopping my autopay without telling me
Mistic: Trump’s interview with Breitbart
In all Seriousness: Go fuck yourself Warsaw, Poland. That’s our show, we’re gonna be here every Wednesday night at 10pm central, make sure you join the conversation at theredeyereport.com or facebook.com/theredeyereport…..you can also twittle us at twitter.com/red_eye_report….like us, share us, or fuck us, we’re down for whatever. I’m Teddy…………….and this is the RED EYE REPORT!!!!!