In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we look at bizarre wedding customs and ways people get hitched around the world. And you thought the Macarena was bad!

Outline for Red Eye Report

Introduction and Main Conversation (20 minutes): Wedding Rituals

Ashtray: Traditional Midwestern Weddings

Mystic: Getting High

Teddy: Black Weddings

Oracle: Online Marriages

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Online_wedding

http://www.theverge.com/2015/4/13/8404443/ikea-wedding-online-webcam-ceremony

http://www.forbes.com/sites/larrymagid/2013/06/03/a-third-of-recently-married-couples-met-online-and-theyre-more-satisfied-and-less-likely-to-split-up/

http://www.virtualvow.com/

What’s Sexy:

Mystic: Finding Old Music

Teddy: Bugs Bunny

Oracle: NFL Gamepass

http://www.nfl.com/gamepass

Ashtray: Weekend in Gangland

Netflix Movie Review (10 minutes): Gone Girl; Dear White People

Ashley Ambers – Town of Lisbon, WI – for Mystic:

When’s the last time you’ve cultivated your naval?

Penelope Crunk-Lebutt – Assumption, IL – for Oracle:

Being international for a while now, what’s your regular go-to “fade my brain from this harsh reality” substance of choice?

Burmese Yam-Yam?

Amber Gingerly – Franklin, TN – for Teddy:

You’re just using me to fuck with Oracle, aren’t you?!

Fuck What You Think (7 minutes):

Teddy: Offering somebody else’s drugs

Oracle: Driving the wrong way, while on your cell phone, and smoking a cigarette

Mystic: People not doing their jobs

Ashtray: Crazy Cunt

http://news.yahoo.com/witnesses-woman-charged-corpse-slashing-had-offered-help-191412939.html

In all Seriousness: There are some unwritten laws in our world and people need to start following them. You don’t ever, ever offer drugs up that aren’t yours. You do your damn job, when other people’s jobs are affected by it and you definitely don’t slash a corpse because you’re a jealous fucking meth addict. Holy shit, I’m about to have a fucking aneurism. GROW UP!!!!!! That’s our show, make sure you join the conversation at theredeyereport.com or facebook.com/theredeyereport…..you can also twittle us at twitter.com/redipodcast….like us, share us, or fuck us, we’re down for whatever. I’m the Mistic…………….and this is the RED EYE REPORT!!!!!.