On this episode of the Red Eye Report we talk about the Danish explorer and candidate for most interesting man in the world, Peter Freuchen. Also in the show, Teddy goes after scammers, and Ashtray offers himself up as bait.

Download the Red Eye Report wherever you get your podcasts.

This week on the Red Eye Report we talk about the Danish explorer and candidate for most interesting man in the world, Peter Freuchen. With me this week is Adventurous Ashtray. He’s been on many polar expeditions. Wait a second, sorry I misread that. Ashtray has been on many bipolar expeditions. He’s got the scars to prove it. We also have Mountaineering Mistic. He hasn’t climbed any mountains. He is the fucking mountain. Deal with it. Next to him is Trailblazing Teddy. He’s Blazed constantly. I don’t know where the trail came from. Finally, there’s me, Odyssey Oracle. I once punched a mermaid in the mouth, and I fucked your mom, so I guess that makes me like Odysseus. Buck up tea cup. This is the Red Eye Report!   

Dane County Humane Society Pet of the Week

Sally the Spiny Lumpsucker

Previous owner took advantage of Sally’s lump sucking ability

Pimped her out to the neighborhood and the 2018 Atlanta Hawks

Hawks finished 29-53 in 2018

Peter Freuchen

Peter Freuchen was 6’ 7

Vagrant Viking; my life and adventures – Published in 1953

Ugly ass baby

University of Copenhagen

Not the sharpest guy in school – Graduated with 

Erichsen went on exploration to Greenland

Magdelene – Danmark

August 1906 – First Expedition

Ludwig Mylius-Erichsen

3 days at sea 

Piece of shit boat

Got to Greenland at the end of August

Had to spend the winter in the Arctic

Alfred Wegener – Continental Drift

Several men fell ill from eating a bear liver


10 man team set out on dog sleds

3 man team

All 3 died

Maps were recovered

1908 the crew returned back to Denmark

1909 Frederick Cook Reached the North Pole

Magazine Needed a tough-ass journalist to cover this type of thing

Politiken – Denmark’s largest newspaper

Commissioned Freuchen to write an article, and it was good enough

Knud Rasmussen – Grew up on Greenland

Decade long trip to Greenland

1910 – Set up most northerly trading post in the world

Knew they could live among the locals

Needed to accept gifts of food for days

Established Thule – Popular with the Inuits

1911 – Married Navarana – Died in 1921 – Spanish Flu

Buried wife in secret

1912 – First Thule Expedition – Establish weather peary channel existed

Peary Channel did not exist – Peary Land was just a peninsula

Rusmussen set up a few more expeditions

Freuchen settled down in Greenland and raised his family

World War I was raging – Denmark was neutral but supplies were still hard to come by

1918 – Freuchen took wife and kids to Copenhagen for the first time

1919 – Served as a technical advisor on a Danish film

1921 – Guest of honor when King Christian visited Greenland

1921 – First wife, Navarana Died

Decided to go out on an expedition – studying the Inuit people 

Origins of the culture and the language

Traveled into the Canadian Arctic for 3 years

10 volume work 

During this expedition, Freuchen was separated from his group during a snow storm

Went into a tight crevasse and fell asleep

Woke to find he was snowed in

Remembered seeing frozen dog shit

Was desperate so he made a chisel out of his own shit and let it freeze

Chiseled his way out of the crevasse with a shit chisel

Kent State University Anthropologists

Make a usable knife out of shit

Didn’t work

Chisel is a big ole turd

Left leg was frozen solid

toes were shot and bones were showing

Got sick of seeing his own shitty toes so he removed them with a pair of pliers

Whole foot ended up being amputated later on

Arctic expiration was done

Returned to Denmark in 1924

Got married to Magdalene Vang Lauridsen

Went back to writing – At Home and Abroad

Wrote over 30 novels and memoirs over his life

Became a technical advisor for Arctic related movie projects

Was involved with the 1933 film – Eskimo – Won an Oscar – Based on 2 of his books

Even starred in the film as a captain

Adolf Hitler was rising in power

Freuchen was part Jewish

Began helping Jews escape to Denmark

Once war broke out, Freuchen became involved with the Danish Resistance

Kept helping Jewish refuges and participated in sabotage missions

Got arrested twice by the Gestapo and was beaten and tortured

After 2nd arrest, Freuchen was sent to a labor camp

Basically everyone was found guilty and sentenced to death

Escaped and made it to Sweden

Freuchen moved to the United States after the war

Divorced his wife – they had been separated for years while he was working with the Resistance

Married 3rd wife – Dagmar Cohn, a fashion illustrator

Worked for MGM Studios

1956 – appeared on the quiz show “The $64,000 question” – Won

September 2, 1957 – Died aged 71 – Ashes were brought to Thule

Decent Documentary:

Poop Chisel:

What’s Sexy 

Oracle: Brakes

Mistic: Frumpy Trumpy


Ashtray:  Going in blind to live music

DeeOhGee – Lost at Sea Video – Official music video

Fuck What You Think

Oracle: Bad Day at Work – UnitedHealth Hack

Mistic:  Tires

Teddy: Shitty Indian scammers

Ashtray: Don’t string your lady around, and then decide to respond because Ashtray has entered the story.

In all Seriousness: Go fuck yourself Batman, Turkey

That’s our show, we’re gonna be here every Wednesday or Thursday night at 10pm central, make sure you join the conversation at or… can also twittle us @redeye_report….like us, share us, or fuck us, we’re down for whatever. I’m Oracle…………….and this is the RED EYE REPORT!!!!!

Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x