On this episode of the Red Eye Report, we talk about pets. We listen to Oracle’s lies about his triumph of the great flea war, and we bring some fucking sexy.

With me this week is Ashtray. Ashtray has a deep pet secret that he doesn’t want you to know. When he thinks no one is looking he likes to put on cat ears climb in Tootsie’s cat carrier and remember the old days. While masturbating.

Next to him is Oracle. As I mentioned earlier oracle Is claiming he is the victor of a 4-week long flea war. What he won’t tell you is that the won is setting his cat on fire and getting a new one. Bella 2.

Next is the Mistic. Mistic has been blowing ass all over his house. And I mean farts that sound like someone is doing it with their mouth. Lol. It smells like a homeless man crawled into a vent, took a shit and then got stuck. He then died and a raccoon came in afterward, ate him and then died itself. So gross.

And I’m Teddy. I love animals of all kinds but if you can’t control your pet ima pull a Sprewell and choke the shit out of you.


What’s Sexy

Teddy: Arcade1up

Mistic:  Canada day

Oracle: The fleas are fucking dead!


Peter Jackson: They Shall Not Grow Old

Documentary on World War 1

Fuck what you think

Oracle: Ride the horse until it fucking dies

Mistic: Manny Machado

Teddy: Calling cops on black people


Heidi Heitkamp post lists of rape survivor names without consent

In all Seriousness: Go fuck yourself Gallatin, Tenneessee. That’s our show, we’re gonna be here every Wednesday night at 10pm central, make sure you join the conversation at or… can also twittle us at….like us, share us, or fuck us, we’re down for whatever. I’m Teddy…………….and this is the RED EYE REPORT!!!!!