On tonight’s episode of the Red Eye Report we talk about Microplastics

Next to me is Oracle. He’s been having an issue with microplastics lodged in his adrenal gland. Which is really just his excuse for being a raging asshole at the gas station when they run out of cheese stuffed hotdogs.

Then we have Teddy. Micro plastics are on the micro spectrum of what’s keeping this black man down, so he DON’T GIVE A FUCK!

Don’t forget our mystery man Mystic. He says he has nothing to say … that’s because his idea of microplastics are the pieces of hamburger wrappers that can’t help but ingest while eating lunch.

Then there is me, Ashtray. With my microplastic weiner

And this is the RED EYE REPORT!!


PBS New Hour

Skip to 4:20 for viral sea turtle clip

World Health Organization report


Plastics on our health


What’s Sexy

Teddy:  Santa Clarita Diet

Mistic:  Milwaukee Brewers

Oracle:  Sky Force Reloaded

Ashtray:  New York Times investigation into Trump’s family tax evasion


Fuck what you think

Oracle:  Fucking Fleas

Mistic:  Lil Xan

Teddy:   God-damned electric scooters


Ashtray:  Indoniesian earthquake liquid sand

In all Seriousness: Go fuck yourself Dickinson, North Dakota. That’s our show, we’re gonna be here every Wednesday night at 10pm central, make sure you join the conversation at theredeyereport.com or facebook.com/theredeyereport…..you can also twittle us at twitter.com/red_eye_report….like us, share us, or fuck us, we’re down for whatever. I’m the Mistic…………….and this is the RED EYE REPORT!!!!!