In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss Incest. At home DNA tests are outting a bunch of incestuous shenanigans. That’s a tough one to come back from….
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Tonight on The Red Eye Report we’re celebrating 250 years of the United States’ favorite past times; Mother Fuckin’
Offroad Oracle: there’s not a 6 inch median or freight train or wife that will stop him from getting his family to Chili’s for his baby back ribs.
Temu Teddy: he’s like the real Teddy, but for a third of the cost, and no warranty.
Muffback Mountain Mystic: who only got this name from narrating a lesbian cowgirl romance western novel in his native voice.
Anaphylactic Ashtray: clearly coughing just for you
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Danish County Humane Society Paws for the Cause: Murphy, the inbred muskrat. He’s more musk than rat. One whiff and you know what I mean.
At home DNA tests prove incestuous
DNA Tests Are Uncovering the True Prevalence of Incest
https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2024/03/dna-tests-incest/677791
In 1975, around the time of Steve’s birth, a psychiatric textbook put the frequency of incest at one in a million.
In the 1980s, feminist scholars argued, based on the testimonies of victims, that incest was far more common than recognized
The geneticist Jim Wilson, at the University of Edinburgh, was shocked by the frequency he found in the U.K. Biobank, an anonymized research database: One in 7,000 people, according to his unpublished analysis, was born to parents who were first-degree relatives—a brother and a sister or a parent and a child.
Neither AncestryDNA nor 23andMe informs customers about incest directly, so the thousand-plus cases Moore knows of all come from the tiny proportion of testers who investigated further. This meant, for example, uploading their DNA profiles to a third-party genealogy site to analyze what are known as “runs of homozygosity,” or ROH: long stretches where the DNA inherited from one’s mother and father are identical.
What’s Sexy
Oracle: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem
Mistic: Let em climb
Teddy: House is halfway done
Ashtray: Chili’s
Fuck What You Think
Oracle: Oracle’s Piss Smelling Book Club
Mistic: It’s a Boeing you fucking idiot!
Teddy: Half full Dumpster
Ashtray: Just hang it up, Dance Machine
In all Seriousness: Go fuck yourself
- Cow Shit Dumpster
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