In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss Impeachment, we fire off misguided attacks on minorities that have no way of defending themselves. And as usual, we put pride into our work, by winking during the money shot.
With me this week is the fluffy Teddy Bear. Teddy has had a lot of firsts in his life lately. His first homosexual experience. His first encounter with the concept of Kyle and his first library card. It’s not for books and shit like that. No…they have computers there and on those computers, you can find anything. Like gay men that want a little dark chocolate.
Next to him is the All seeing Oracle. Oracle has a green screen coming in a few days. He says it’s for creating instructional videos for work. But we all know it’s for his feeble attempt to recreate the last 6 episodes of Game of Thrones. Jesus, just let it be….fucking nerds.
We’ve also got a soot covered Ashtray. He’s drunk. Last and least, I’m the Mistic. I’ve never been impeached before, but I have fucked an Imp with a peach. Does that count? This is the RED EYE REPORT!!!!
Impeachment
The Process
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impeachment_in_the_United_States
Trump
What’s Sexy
Mystic: Good Omens
Teddy: Library Card
Ashtray: Dumb Ass teacher tweeted to Trump to help deport illegal immegrant students … not knowing it was all public.
https://www.cnn.com/2019/06/05/us/trump-teacher-fort-worth-anti-immigration-trnd/index.html
Oracle: Outer Wilds
Fuck What You Think
Teddy: Xbox body wash
https://nypost.com/2019/06/05/xbox-deodorant-and-body-wash-let-you-smell-like-a-gamer/
Ashtray: “I didn’t know she was nasty”
https://www.foxnews.com/politics/trump-meghan-markle-nasty-piers-morgan-interview
Oracle: Unbelievably cheap plastic
Mystic:Straight pride parade
In all Seriousness: Go fuck yourself Boston Massachusetts. That’s our show, we’re gonna be here every Wednesday night at 10pm central, make sure you join the conversation at theredeyereport.com or facebook.com/theredeyereport…..you can also twittle us at twitter.com/red_eye_report….like us, share us, or fuck us, we’re down for whatever. I’m Oracle…………….and this is the RED EYE REPORT!!!!!