On tonight’s episode of The Red Eye Report, we talk about Con Artists, confidence men, and swinders.

With me this week is Telelscam Teddy. He’s wanted in 13 states for his fraudulent deeds. He’s swindled 90 year old widows out of their social security checks. He’s knabbed toothfairy money from 10 year olds. Who’s his next victim? Nobody. His bluetooth ran out of battery 5 minutes ago.

Next to him we have Money Laundering Mistic. He’s moved billions of dollars through Donald Trump’s not-so-secret bank golf courses. In 2013, he was ranked as the money launderer of the year by Nobody Gives a Shit magazine. What’s his next scam? He’s returning an X-Files season 3 dvd to Walmart in a Season 2 case. Let’s just say he’s laying low with all of this Trump induced heat.

We also have Account Takeover Ashtray with us tonight. He’s captured 20 bank accounts and counting. He’s truly a master of his craft. Unfortunately, he’s a complete dumbass when it comes to doing research on his targets. Almost all of his accounts already had massive debt. Now he’s got Mexican debt collectors coming after hid kidneys. Good luck with that one.

Finally, there’s me. Office Supply Scam Oracle. I’ve got your pens, pencils, papers, whatever you need. You want some double-sided tape for a single sided price? You got it. Just give me an upfront fee of $5,000, and I will satisfy your office supply needs for life. No? Well, fuck you and your Staples account. This is the fucking Red Eye Report.

Con Artists

Fraud List

William Chaloner

Brooklyn Bridge Scam

William Thompson (Confidence Man)

Soapy Smith

Watch out for the hurricane scammers

Chicken Scam

What’s Sexy

Teddy: The messenger

Mistic: Ozark

Oracle: Marvel’s Spiderman PS4

Ashtray: Crack Pipe Vending Machine

Fuck what you think

Oracle: Getting Spammed at the Polling Place

Mistic: Liberal Bullshit in Mystic’s shoe

Teddy: Black man shot in his own living Room

Ashtray: Fired “60 Minutes” boss warned CBS News reporter: “There are people who’ve lost their jobs trying to harm me”

In all Seriousness: Go fuck yourself Stockton, CA. That’s our show, we’re gonna be here every Wednesday night at 10pm central, make sure you join the conversation at or… can also twittle us at….like us, share us, or fuck us, we’re down for whatever. I’m the Mistic…………….and this is the RED EYE REPORT!!!!!