On tonight’s episode of The Red Eye Report, we talk about Con Artists, confidence men, and
With me this week is Telelscam Teddy. He’s wanted in 13 states for his fraudulent deeds. He’s swindled 90 year old widows out of their social security checks. He’s knabbed toothfairy money from 10 year olds. Who’s his next victim? Nobody. His bluetooth ran out of battery 5 minutes ago.
Next to him we have Money Laundering Mistic. He’s moved billions of dollars through Donald Trump’s not-so-secret bank golf courses. In 2013, he was ranked as the money launderer of the year by Nobody Gives a Shit magazine. What’s his next scam? He’s returning an X-Files season 3 dvd to Walmart in a Season 2 case. Let’s just say he’s laying low with all of this Trump induced heat.
We also have Account Takeover Ashtray with us tonight. He’s captured 20 bank accounts and counting. He’s truly a master of his craft. Unfortunately, he’s a complete dumbass when it comes to doing research on his targets. Almost all of his accounts already had massive debt. Now he’s got Mexican debt collectors coming after hid kidneys. Good luck with that one.
Finally, there’s me. Office Supply Scam Oracle. I’ve got your pens, pencils, papers, whatever you need.
You want some double-sided tape for a single sided price? You got it. Just give me an upfront fee of $5,000, and I will satisfy your office supply needs for life. No? Well, fuck you and your Staples account. This is the fucking Red Eye Report.
Brooklyn Bridge Scam
William Thompson (Confidence Man)
Watch out for the hurricane scammers
Teddy: The messenger
Oracle: Marvel’s Spiderman PS4
Ashtray: Crack Pipe Vending Machine
Fuck what you think
Oracle: Getting Spammed at the Polling Place
Mistic: Liberal Bullshit in Mystic’s shoe
Teddy: Black man shot in his own living Room
Ashtray: Fired “60 Minutes” boss warned CBS News reporter: “There are people who’ve lost their jobs trying to harm me”
In all Seriousness: Go fuck yourself Stockton, CA. That’s our show, we’re gonna be here every Wednesday night at 10pm central, make sure you join the conversation at theredeyereport.com or facebook.com/theredeyereport…..you can also twittle us at twitter.com/red_eye_report….like us, share us, or fuck us, we’re down for whatever. I’m the Mistic…………….and this is the RED EYE REPORT!!!!!