In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss getting locked up, we make sweet love to a thirteen inch Sony Trinatrizzle, and as usual, we put five on it.

With me this week is the soot-covered Ashtray. Ashtray was committed to a mental institution 12 times in his 36 years on this earth. The first one was because he was perceived to be a danger to himself. The other 11 were just to get some more of that jello.

Next to him is the fluffy Teddy Bear. Teddy’s never been committed mostly because he’s black. I know that sounds racist. But black people have a different system of mental health commitment. It’s called taking your grandma to church.

We’ve also got an all-seeing Oracle. He’s been committed so many times, they named a wing after him in a facility in Massachusetts. It’s called sleep bating hall.

Last and least, I’m the Mistic I was committed once. But it was for a story I was writing. There was a bitchy nurse, a very large Native American, and a lot of good drugs. And actually, the jello was amazing. And this is the RED EYE REPORT!!!

Civil Commitment Or Involuntary Commitment

What’s Sexy 

Teddy: Nintendo thing

Mystic: Max Headroom

Ashtray: Four Loko’s Hard Seltzer

Oracle: Yakuza 0

Fuck What You Think

Mystic: Brake pads

Oracle: Dumb Fucking Cat

Ashtray: Steve King questions if there would be any population left if not for rape and incest

Teddy: Epstein death

In all Seriousness: Go fuck yourself Princeton, NJ. That’s our show, we’re gonna be here every Wednesday night at 10pm central, make sure you join the conversation at or… can also twittle us at….like us, share us, or fuck us, we’re down for whatever. I’m Mistic…………….and this is the RED EYE REPORT!!!!!