In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss Bicycles. Where the hell did they even come from? It is an interesting story, and the fact that early iterations were called ‘Boneshakers’ says a lot. Also on the show, four middle-aged men shake their fist and yell at technology, and Trump uses his cabinet as bait on Air Force One while he slips away with his golf caddy in an airline food delivery vehicle.
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In this episode of the Red Eye Report we discuss bicycles. Where the hell did bicycles even come from? We find out. With me this week is Two-wheeling Teddy. He’s been riding bikes for a long time. He’s also been smashing driver’s side mirrors for his entire adult life. Next to Teddy is autoshitting Ashtray. This doesn’t have anything to do with bicycles, but he automatically shits his pants. It might be irritable bowel syndrome, but autoshitting is what his hipster doctor calls it. We also have Mountain Bike Mistic. God help you if you are on the side of a mountain and Mistic is also riding a mountain bike. Just fucking try to climb a tree or something. Finally, there’s me, Overgeared Oracle, yeah, I’m pretty fucking tuned up half the time, but this is the way of….the Red Eye Report.
Danish County Pet of the Week
Harry the Hard Rockin’ Dolphin
https://www.history.com/articles/bicycle-history-invention
https://www.si.edu/spotlight/si-bikes/si-bikes-velocipede
Weird Brown website about the history of bicycles….
https://webhelper.brown.edu/joukowsky/courses/13things/7083.html
What’s Sexy
Oracle: Chaiya Meditation Monastery
Mistic: Serves ya right.
Teddy: School bitches
Ashtray: Food Truck Trump
https://www.cnn.com/2026/08/13/politics/iran-threat-turkey-plane
https://www.theatlantic.com/newsletters/2026/08/trump-airplane-escape-secret-service-turkey/688272
Fuck What You Think
Oracle: Loss of the Good Ole Web
Mistic: Fuck Youtube. Money grubbing whores.
Teddy: Boomers and AI
Ashtray: Can basic things just work like they’re supposed to?!
In all Seriousness: Go fuck yourself AI Summaries.
That’s our show, we’re gonna be here every Thursday night at 10pm central, make sure you join the conversation at theredeyereport.com or facebook.com/redeyereport…..you can also twittle us @redeye_report….like us, share us, or fuck us, we’re down for whatever. I’m Teddy…………….and this is the RED EYE REPORT!!!!!