Outline for Red Eye Report
Introduction and Main Conversation (20 minutes): Assassins
Teddy: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jan_Kubi%C5%A1
Ashtray: https://www.awesomestories.com/asset/view/Gavrilo-Princip
Oracle: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Kuklinski
Mistic: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Wilkes_Booth
What’s Sexy (7 minutes):
Ashtray: Paying off Student Loans
Mistic: Federal ban lifted
http://hightimes.com/read/congress-effectively-ends-federal-ban-medical-marijuana
Oracle: Operation Zip Lines
Not So Netflix Movie Review (10 minutes): Killing them softly; Repo! The Genetic Opera
Ask the Idiots
Sally Petersonship from Matinecock NY – for Teddy:
“Do you ever feel guilty, trying to raise a kid, … and you can’t fly out to Seattle to buy your good friend Oracle some coke?”
Fink Summers from Madawaska ME – for Oracle:
“What does it mean, in street lingo, when I hear someone say “I’m rollin’ over this Bitch!”?
I have sources that say you’re fond of the phrase.
Richard the 33rd from Bunkie LA – for Mystic:
“Can you believe with this huge drop in gas prices, and lap dances are going up at least 4% this year?
Damn I miss the rides you could buy in 95’!
Fuck What You Think (7 minutes):
Teddy: Woman not being allowed to watch soccer in Saudi Arabia:
Oracle: Sony being Baby Chicken Penises
http://www.cnet.com/news/sony-cancels-the-interview-release/
Mistic: 2 States sue over Marijuana
In All Seriousness (3 minutes): In all seriousness, sometimes you just want to watch a fucking soccer game and you don’t have a penis, or you just want to board your plane without Jews being all Jewwy. That’s why we here at the Red Eye Report advocate the death of 85 percent of the world, cause that’s just what has to happen, sorry. I mean think about it. No more lines….anywhere. Plenty of lanes open on your morning commute and most importantly, no more Canadians. That’s our show, make sure you join the conversation at theredeyereport.com or facebook.com/theredeyereport. Like us, Share us or Fuck us, we’re down for whatever. I’m Mistic.