This dude has some balls! Also in the show, Ashtray shares his Covid summer-bod diet, and the woke police go after Willy Wonka.
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In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss a dude named Navalny. We fit a whatsawhizzle to a thingamajig and as usual, we do it for the fan. With me this week is the all seeing Oracle. A lot of people don’t know this, but Oracle was instrumental in the development of Novachock. One debaucherous night in Thailand, with excesses of cheap liquor, Mediterranean hookers and what he thought was Pho, but was really Yak jizz, resulted in a one of a kind neurotoxin we know as Novachock. Thanks Obama. We’ve also got a fluffy Teddy Bear. Teddy has never used chemical weapons…….yet. Just keep that in mind whiteys. There’s also a soot covered Ashtray. Ashtray is all too familiar with the bitch method of murder, poisoning. He hasn’t done it to someone. But for some reason, three different women have tried to poison him. From Arsenic to Antifreeze and even just a shit ton of bad fish. Nothing worked. They all underestimated how much of a degenerate drug addict he really is, shook that shit off like a legend. Last and least, I’m the Mistic. Who are we kidding. We all poison ourselves every day with Sugar, Whiskey and even just plain ass Salt. But never, I repeat Never, have we stooped to the level of murdering our competition. We just forget about what we were doing and go back to smoking. Cuz this is the fucking Red Eye Report.
Mistic: Rodgers gone, hopefully.
Teddy: Dollywood Coasters
Ashtray: Got that Covid Summer Body already in March!
Fuck What You Think
Oracle: Cancel Wonka!
Mistic: The Last Of Us, wtf.
Ashtray: Homewreckin’ again?!
Teddy: Goddamn beta hoops!!!!
In all Seriousness: Go fuck yourself Putin.
That’s our show, we’re gonna be here every Wednesday or Thursday night at 10pm central, make sure you join the conversation at theredeyereport.com or facebook.com/redeyereport…..you can also twittle us @redeye_report….like us, share us, or fuck us, we’re down for whatever. I’m Mistic…………….and this is the RED EYE REPORT!!!!!