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PRICE GOUGING – RED EYE REPORT 270

In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss Price Gouging. We covet small woodland creatures. And as usual, we fuck it all up ...
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THE ECONOMIC DOOM LOOP – RED EYE REPORT 269

On this episode of the Red Eye Report, Ashtray finally cashes in on his Economic Doom Loop predictions. It's only been 5 years, but well, here we are. Mistic is getting hazard pay, so he's buying fried chicken for everyone, and Ashtray proves that he's absolutely incapable of surviving without ...
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CORONAVIRUS…HOLY SHIT! – RED EYE REPORT 268

Tonight on the Red Eye Report, we’re checking in on the world. Coronavirus...holy shit! So where we going with all this? Is the media’s reaction overblown? You stocking up on toilet paper? We talk about our first big week in corona land ...
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DAUGHTERS OF THE CONFEDERACY – RED EYE REPORT 267

Teddy breaks down the United Daughters of the Confederacy and reveals he's a plebe when it comes to fast food breakfast. Ashtray steals your woman's heart at the local honky tonk. And Oracle loses it in the Aldi checkout lane ...
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STRATEGY GAMES – RED EYE REPORT 266

In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss strategy games. We strategize on how to not go to prison for manslaughter, and as usual, we end up just blaming the black guy ...
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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE – RED EYE REPORT 265

In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss Domestic Violence. That age old spontaneous boxing match where the only prizes are a ride to the jailhouse for the winner, and PTSD for the loser ...
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QUARANTINES – RED EYE REPORT 264

In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss quarantines ...
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SLAVE REVOLTS – RED EYE REPORT 263

Teddy cries out for a race war and the death of all white people in this one. Just kidding. We do learn about some slave revolts though and listen to Mistic bitch about Space Force uniforms ...
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US – RED EYE REPORT 262

In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss the movie US. We burn ants with a magnifying glass and as usual, we pump up the jams. Us is about a family who gets attacked at their beach house. Here at the RER, were also a family. We may ...
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CHINA’S FORCED ORGAN HARVEST – RED EYE REPORT 261

In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss China’s forced organ harvesting. A story so hard to believe and so underreported that only the unbelievably impaired daredevils of The Red Eye Report can bring it to you ...
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FERAL PIGS – RED EYE REPORT 260

In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we talk about feral pigs, Ashtray shares a weirdo hipster gymnast story, and Mistic salivates ...
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SPORTS BETTING – RED EYE REPORT 258

In this episode of the Red Eye Report we discuss sports betting, Teddy gets wild over Wheel of Fortune, and the gang loses all of their money ...
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KRATOM – RED EYE REPORT 257

In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss Kratom. An herbal powder that is not in the mainstream, and taste like shit. Much like Flesh God Apocalypse 😉 ...
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UFOs REBRANDED – RED EYE REPORT 256

On this episode of the Red Eye Report, we’re talking about UFOs, specifically, the rebranding of UFOs to UAPs or Unidentified Aerial Phenomena. Change is in the air and the government is changing their tune on these sightings. What’s going on? ...
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COOKING – RED EYE REPORT 255

This week on the Red Eye Report we talked about cooking, we go on a voyage of self-enlightenment, and we listen to mistic be a salty bastard about everything ...
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TELEMARKETING – RED EYE REPORT 254

In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss Telemarketing. We plan a raid on a sorority for some panties and as usual, Ashtray makes it weird ...
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BLOODSHED ON BLACK WALL STREET – RED EYE REPORT 253

This week on the Red Eye Report we’re talking about Wall Street. But not Whitey's Wall Street, but Black Wall Street in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Never heard of it? Well, that’s because Whitey tried to burn it off the whole damn map! ...
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HUMAN EVOLUTION – RED EYE REPORT 252

In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we talk about Human Evolution. Where did we come from and how many Neanderthals did we fuck to get here? Judging by the faces of my co-hosts, I’d say the answer is a lot. Ashtray’s been known to blackout and rummage through ...
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COMPETITIVE EATING – RED EYE REPORT 251

On this episode of the Red Eye Report, we talk about competitive eating, we listen to Ashtray ramble on about some bullshit, and we ridicule Ashtray's bad competitive eating jokes about Mistic. With us this week is the Mistic. Mistic has been a competitive eater all his life... The only ...
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MEAT – RED EYE REPORT 250

In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss Meat. We figure out that Ashtray has a much more sinister side than previously thought. And as usual, we do the bare minimum. With me this week is the Meat pimp Ashtray. For months now, every Sunday, Ashtray has been ...
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DEEPWATER HORIZON – RED EYE REPORT 249

This week on the Red Eye Report, we’re talking about the Deepwater Horizon. That record-breaking drill rig that set world records for drilling the deepest well, and later spilling the most oil! ...
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SKIN – RED EYE REPORT 248

In this episode of the Red Eye Report we’re talking about skin. I know. I know. You’ve been waiting for this topic since we launched the show in 2012. We got you! With me this week is Mistic. Scientists say that your skin weighs about 15 percent of your body ...
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OBESITY – RED EYE REPORT 247

On this episode of the Red Eye Report we talk about obesity, we listen to Ashtray babble on about some bullshit, and we learn that we're all fat asses. With us tonight is fat ass ashtray. Ashtray is probably the smallest fat-ass among us all but he is the biggest ...
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CIVIL COMMITMENT – RED EYE REPORT 246

In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss getting locked up, we make sweet love to a thirteen inch Sony Trinatrizzle, and as usual, we put five on it. With me this week is the soot-covered Ashtray. Ashtray was committed to a mental institution 12 times in his ...
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WHAT A PAIN IN THE ASS! – RED EYE REPORT 245

This week on the Red Eye Report we are talking about a common pain in the ass. A pain in the ass that everyone has, but only 50% of the population has to pay for. No, we’re not talking about taxes -- We’re talking about HEMORRHOIDS! We’re jumping the shark ...
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HATS – RED EYE REPORT 244

On this episode of the Red Eye Report, we talk about hats. How long have hats been around? What were some of the weirdest hats over the years? We’ll answer those questions and more. With me this week is Top Hat Teddy. Quick question. What’s the difference between a white ...
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GAMBLING – RED EYE REPORT 243

On this episode of the Red Eye Report we talk about gambling, we listen to Ashtray ramble about some bullshit, and we worry about the fate of a nigga in the woods ...
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SOCIAL MEDIA – RED EYE REPORT 242

In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss social media, we listen to Teddy blab about thinking he’s cool, and as usual, we farm out the heavy lifting to an Indian telemarketing firm. Take it away Donald. With me this week is the all-seeing oracle. Oracle likes social ...
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FIREWORKS – RED EYE REPORT 241

In tonight’s episode of the Red Eye Report, we’re talking about fireworks. It’s so damn hot out tonight. Everything is hot. There’s Mistic, our hot fat dude. Teddy, our hot black dude. Oracle, our hot East coast starving poet dude. And myself, Ashtray our hot drunk trippin’ on shrooms dude ...
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SPORTSMANSHIP – RED EYE REPORT 240

On this episode of the Red Eye Report, we talk about sportsmanship and make fun of Ashtray's mom. Actually, we make fun of everyone's mom. And we give props to me because I'm fucking awesome. With me this week is the Mistic. Mistic is also awesome because we are both ...
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IMPEACHMENT – RED EYE REPORT 239

In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss Impeachment, we fire off misguided attacks on minorities that have no way of defending themselves. And as usual, we put pride into our work, by winking during the money shot. With me this week is the fluffy Teddy Bear. Teddy ...
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ENERGY DRINKS – RED EYE REPORT 238

This week on the Red Eye Report, we’re talking about ENERGY DRINKS! Red Bull, Monster, RockStar, Four Loko, 5-Hour Energy, Bawls, Crunk, Jolt Cola, Sparks, Venom Energy, NOS, and don’t forget Beaver Buzz - just to name a few. With us tonight we have the all seeing, little understanding, Oracle ...
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DEEPFAKES – RED EYE REPORT 237

On this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss DeepFakes, or the burgeoning ability to fake video and audio using computer algorithms. Are we fucked? We’ll tell you about it and you can be the judge. With me this week is Artificial Ashtray. Y’know the fucked up information dystopia ...
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Hot Diggity Dog

HOT DIGGITY DOGS – RED EYE REPORT 236

On this episode of the Red Eye Report we talk about dogs, we listen to Mistic rant about something, and as usual, we all give Ashtray shit. Speaking of Ashtray, he's with us this week. You all don't know this, but he's generally never on time, and we always have ...
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Scraps of ISIS

SCRAPS OF ISIS – RED EYE REPORT 234

Tonight on the Red Eye Report, we’re gonna update you about them evil sumbitches we first told you about years ago: ISIS - or Dash, as our Middle Eastern listeners would call them. Or Cray-Cray, as the former bad boys Al Qaeda have called them. First off we have Oracle ...
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RER Talks Memory

MEMORY – RED EYE REPORT 233

Tonight on the Red Eye Report, we discuss memory. What do we know about making memories? How can we improve our memory? How good is your memory? With me is Ashtray. He’s got a terrible memory. He can’t remember jack shit. it’s like 5,000 first dates with this guy at ...
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RER Talks Cheaters

CHEATERS – RED EYE REPORT 232

On this episode of the Red Eye Report we talked about cheaters, we tried to pry Oracle back to the real world for the road of VR and as always cuss a whole goddamn lot. With us tonight is Ashtray. Ashtray's a little testy tonight because he doesn't appreciate me ...
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RER Talks Sitcoms

SITCOMS – RED EYE REPORT 231

Here’s a story, of a bear named Teddy, who was online when he met this guy once. That guy said hey dude can you be our token, but then that guy left cuz he’s a cunt. We’ve also got this guy by the name of Oracle. Whos been around since ...
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Israel vs Palestine

ISRAEL VS PALESTINE – RED EYE REPORT 230

This week on the Red Eye Report we are talking about those Middle Eastern knuckleheads Israel and Palestine. With us on the trip we have Mistic; who refused to go visit the Wailing Wall - no matter how many times we tried to explain: It’s not that kind of whaling ...
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Generations

GENERATIONS – RED EYE REPORT 229

On this week’s episode of the Red Eye Report, we talk about Generations. Are you confused about being a millenial, generation x, or are you one of those slick generation Z’s--we’ll break it down for you. With me this week is Ashtray. Ashtray is a man born in the wrong ...
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SCANDALS AND CORRUPTION – RED EYE REPORT 228

On this episode of the Red Eye Report, we talk about scandals and two of the evilest greedy white men you have ever heard of. I try to stay awake while Ashtray is talking. And we tell you to go fuck yourself and curse a lot as usual. With us ...
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RELIGIONS – RED EYE REPORT 227

In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we talk God. We trample the dreams of multiple prepubescent girls and as usual, we regurgitate shit we heard on Facebook. With me this week is the all-seeing Oracle. Obviously, Oracle has his own religion. It’s called dafuckoutmyfaceism. He and Jessie Ventura ...
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Animal Attacks

ANIMAL ATTACKS! – RED EYE REPORT 226

This week on the Red Eye Report we are talking about animal attacks! It’s a jam-packed 5-way show tonight with Manatee Mistic, Orangutan Oracle, Toucan Teddy, myself Albatross Ashtray, and our special guest Tiger Treat Travis! Who brought the lube and a scratching post? This is the RED EYE REPORT ...
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Lasers Cover

LASERS (SHINE ME IN THE EYE AGAIN AND I WILL STAB YOUR PARROT) – RED EYE REPORT 225

On the episode of the Red Eye Report, we talk about lasers. What the fuck is a laser? Is it made from magic beans? No, you dumbshit. It is not. Are there lasers that you can buy on Amazon that will cause permanent blindness and pop balloons? Yes. With me ...
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AMUSEMENT PARKS (FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT AMUSEMENT PARKS) – RED EYE REPORT 224

Teddy was too lazy to write up an intro. Watch the trainwreck that ensues in the video. Oh yeah, and we talk about Garth Brooks ...
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The Circus Cover

THE CIRCUS – RED EYE REPORT 223

Come one, come all and join us for the greatest show on Facebook. From fearless dick jokes, hopeless minority bashing, excessive fucking swearing and four dudes with nothing better to do on a weekday, the Red Eye Report will both tickle and arouse your senses. A long time staple of ...
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KIDNAPPINGS – RED EYE REPORT 222

In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we talk about kidnappings that scared the world and captivated the media. No children were harmed in the making of this podcast, but they may have been slapped around a little. First of we have Oracle. His prefered method of kidnapping is ...
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EXISTENTIAL RISKS – RED EYE REPORT – 221

In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we talk about Existential Risks. Is the human race doomed go extinct within the next couple centuries or even sooner? Don’t worry, we’ll find out through completely uninformed discourse. With me this week is Asteroid Ashtray. His balls all so big and ...
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