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COMPETITIVE EATING – RED EYE REPORT 251

On this episode of the Red Eye Report, we talk about competitive eating, we listen to Ashtray ramble on about some bullshit, and we ridicule Ashtray's bad competitive eating jokes about Mistic. With us this week is the Mistic. Mistic has been a competitive eater all his life... The only ...
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MEAT – RED EYE REPORT 250

In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss Meat. We figure out that Ashtray has a much more sinister side than previously thought. And as usual, we do the bare minimum. With me this week is the Meat pimp Ashtray. For months now, every Sunday, Ashtray has been ...
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DEEPWATER HORIZON – RED EYE REPORT 249

This week on the Red Eye Report, we’re talking about the Deepwater Horizon. That record-breaking drill rig that set world records for drilling the deepest well, and later spilling the most oil! ...
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SKIN – RED EYE REPORT 248

In this episode of the Red Eye Report we’re talking about skin. I know. I know. You’ve been waiting for this topic since we launched the show in 2012. We got you! With me this week is Mistic. Scientists say that your skin weighs about 15 percent of your body ...
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OBESITY – RED EYE REPORT 247

On this episode of the Red Eye Report we talk about obesity, we listen to Ashtray babble on about some bullshit, and we learn that we're all fat asses. With us tonight is fat ass ashtray. Ashtray is probably the smallest fat-ass among us all but he is the biggest ...
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CIVIL COMMITMENT – RED EYE REPORT 246

In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss getting locked up, we make sweet love to a thirteen inch Sony Trinatrizzle, and as usual, we put five on it. With me this week is the soot-covered Ashtray. Ashtray was committed to a mental institution 12 times in his ...
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WHAT A PAIN IN THE ASS! – RED EYE REPORT 245

This week on the Red Eye Report we are talking about a common pain in the ass. A pain in the ass that everyone has, but only 50% of the population has to pay for. No, we’re not talking about taxes -- We’re talking about HEMORRHOIDS! We’re jumping the shark ...
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HATS – RED EYE REPORT 244

On this episode of the Red Eye Report, we talk about hats. How long have hats been around? What were some of the weirdest hats over the years? We’ll answer those questions and more. With me this week is Top Hat Teddy. Quick question. What’s the difference between a white ...
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GAMBLING – RED EYE REPORT 243

On this episode of the Red Eye Report we talk about gambling, we listen to Ashtray ramble about some bullshit, and we worry about the fate of a nigga in the woods ...
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SOCIAL MEDIA – RED EYE REPORT 242

In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss social media, we listen to Teddy blab about thinking he’s cool, and as usual, we farm out the heavy lifting to an Indian telemarketing firm. Take it away Donald. With me this week is the all-seeing oracle. Oracle likes social ...
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FIREWORKS – RED EYE REPORT 241

In tonight’s episode of the Red Eye Report, we’re talking about fireworks. It’s so damn hot out tonight. Everything is hot. There’s Mistic, our hot fat dude. Teddy, our hot black dude. Oracle, our hot East coast starving poet dude. And myself, Ashtray our hot drunk trippin’ on shrooms dude ...
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SPORTSMANSHIP – RED EYE REPORT 240

On this episode of the Red Eye Report, we talk about sportsmanship and make fun of Ashtray's mom. Actually, we make fun of everyone's mom. And we give props to me because I'm fucking awesome. With me this week is the Mistic. Mistic is also awesome because we are both ...
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IMPEACHMENT – RED EYE REPORT 239

In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss Impeachment, we fire off misguided attacks on minorities that have no way of defending themselves. And as usual, we put pride into our work, by winking during the money shot. With me this week is the fluffy Teddy Bear. Teddy ...
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ENERGY DRINKS – RED EYE REPORT 238

This week on the Red Eye Report, we’re talking about ENERGY DRINKS! Red Bull, Monster, RockStar, Four Loko, 5-Hour Energy, Bawls, Crunk, Jolt Cola, Sparks, Venom Energy, NOS, and don’t forget Beaver Buzz - just to name a few. With us tonight we have the all seeing, little understanding, Oracle ...
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DEEPFAKES – RED EYE REPORT 237

On this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss DeepFakes, or the burgeoning ability to fake video and audio using computer algorithms. Are we fucked? We’ll tell you about it and you can be the judge. With me this week is Artificial Ashtray. Y’know the fucked up information dystopia ...
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Hot Diggity Dog

HOT DIGGITY DOGS – RED EYE REPORT 236

On this episode of the Red Eye Report we talk about dogs, we listen to Mistic rant about something, and as usual, we all give Ashtray shit. Speaking of Ashtray, he's with us this week. You all don't know this, but he's generally never on time, and we always have ...
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Scraps of ISIS

SCRAPS OF ISIS – RED EYE REPORT 234

Tonight on the Red Eye Report, we’re gonna update you about them evil sumbitches we first told you about years ago: ISIS - or Dash, as our Middle Eastern listeners would call them. Or Cray-Cray, as the former bad boys Al Qaeda have called them. First off we have Oracle ...
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RER Talks Memory

MEMORY – RED EYE REPORT 233

Tonight on the Red Eye Report, we discuss memory. What do we know about making memories? How can we improve our memory? How good is your memory? With me is Ashtray. He’s got a terrible memory. He can’t remember jack shit. it’s like 5,000 first dates with this guy at ...
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RER Talks Cheaters

CHEATERS – RED EYE REPORT 232

On this episode of the Red Eye Report we talked about cheaters, we tried to pry Oracle back to the real world for the road of VR and as always cuss a whole goddamn lot. With us tonight is Ashtray. Ashtray's a little testy tonight because he doesn't appreciate me ...
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RER Talks Sitcoms

SITCOMS – RED EYE REPORT 231

Here’s a story, of a bear named Teddy, who was online when he met this guy once. That guy said hey dude can you be our token, but then that guy left cuz he’s a cunt. We’ve also got this guy by the name of Oracle. Whos been around since ...
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Israel vs Palestine

ISRAEL VS PALESTINE – RED EYE REPORT 230

This week on the Red Eye Report we are talking about those Middle Eastern knuckleheads Israel and Palestine. With us on the trip we have Mistic; who refused to go visit the Wailing Wall - no matter how many times we tried to explain: It’s not that kind of whaling ...
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Generations

GENERATIONS – RED EYE REPORT 229

On this week’s episode of the Red Eye Report, we talk about Generations. Are you confused about being a millenial, generation x, or are you one of those slick generation Z’s--we’ll break it down for you. With me this week is Ashtray. Ashtray is a man born in the wrong ...
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SCANDALS AND CORRUPTION – RED EYE REPORT 228

On this episode of the Red Eye Report, we talk about scandals and two of the evilest greedy white men you have ever heard of. I try to stay awake while Ashtray is talking. And we tell you to go fuck yourself and curse a lot as usual. With us ...
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RELIGIONS – RED EYE REPORT 227

In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we talk God. We trample the dreams of multiple prepubescent girls and as usual, we regurgitate shit we heard on Facebook. With me this week is the all-seeing Oracle. Obviously, Oracle has his own religion. It’s called dafuckoutmyfaceism. He and Jessie Ventura ...
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Animal Attacks

ANIMAL ATTACKS! – RED EYE REPORT 226

This week on the Red Eye Report we are talking about animal attacks! It’s a jam-packed 5-way show tonight with Manatee Mistic, Orangutan Oracle, Toucan Teddy, myself Albatross Ashtray, and our special guest Tiger Treat Travis! Who brought the lube and a scratching post? This is the RED EYE REPORT ...
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Lasers Cover

LASERS (SHINE ME IN THE EYE AGAIN AND I WILL STAB YOUR PARROT) – RED EYE REPORT 225

On the episode of the Red Eye Report, we talk about lasers. What the fuck is a laser? Is it made from magic beans? No, you dumbshit. It is not. Are there lasers that you can buy on Amazon that will cause permanent blindness and pop balloons? Yes. With me ...
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Amusement Parks Cover

AMUSEMENT PARKS (FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT AMUSEMENT PARKS) – RED EYE REPORT 224

Teddy was too lazy to write up an intro. Watch the trainwreck that ensues in the video. Oh yeah, and we talk about Garth Brooks ...
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The Circus Cover

THE CIRCUS – RED EYE REPORT 223

Come one, come all and join us for the greatest show on Facebook. From fearless dick jokes, hopeless minority bashing, excessive fucking swearing and four dudes with nothing better to do on a weekday, the Red Eye Report will both tickle and arouse your senses. A long time staple of ...
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KIDNAPPINGS – RED EYE REPORT 222

In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we talk about kidnappings that scared the world and captivated the media. No children were harmed in the making of this podcast, but they may have been slapped around a little. First of we have Oracle. His prefered method of kidnapping is ...
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Existential Risks Cover 1.30.19

EXISTENTIAL RISKS – RED EYE REPORT – 221

In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we talk about Existential Risks. Is the human race doomed go extinct within the next couple centuries or even sooner? Don’t worry, we’ll find out through completely uninformed discourse. With me this week is Asteroid Ashtray. His balls all so big and ...
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Vacations Cover 1.19.19

VACATIONS – RED EYE REPORT 220

On this episode of the Red Eye Report we talk about vacations, we listen to Oracle trying to convince us that his cat is not dead and stuffed, and as usual, we listen to Ashtray ramble on about some bullshit. Speaking of Ashtray he's with us this week. Ashtray's been ...
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Big Pharma Cover 1.29.19

BIG PHARMA – RED EYE REPORT 219

In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss Big Pharma. We tell you what's sexy and what to fuck, and as usual, we submit new definitions for “Polish car bomb” to Urban dictionary, only to have them all rejected. With me this week is the soot-covered Ashtray. Ashtrays ...
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Related to Evil Cover

RELATED TO EVIL – RED EYE REPORT 218

On tonight’s stream of the Red Eye Report, we talk about the parents and family of mass murderers. First off we have the Mistic. He’s no mass murderer, but he sure kills it in the handicap toilet stall! His new Mandatory poop joke out of the way, next we have ...
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World's Fair Cover

WORLD’S FAIR – RED EYE REPORT 217

On tonight’s stream of the Red Eye Report, we talk about the World’s Fair a.k.a the biggest dick measuring contest on the planet. With me tonight is Teddy. He was actually a part of the 1982 World’s Fair in Knoxville, Tennessee. Teddy was inside one of those little R2D2 robots ...
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NCAA Cover

NCAA – RED EYE REPORT 216

We talk about the NCAA on this one. We deleted the outline accidentaly. You're fucking welcome ...
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Stan Lee Cover

STAN LEE – RED EYE REPORT 215

In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss Stanley Martin Lieber, better known as Stan Lee. We out stay our welcome in almost every aspect of our lives and as usual, we incessantly joke about fucking everyone’s mothers. With me single-handedly this week is the all-seeing Oracle. Oracle ...
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Land Mines Cover

LAND MINES – RED EYE REPORT 214

Tonight we’re talking about land mines. Another thrilling topic from Ashtray; the brilliant mind behind “Plumbing” and “Flood Insurance”! First we have Teddy. He eats ass, and he’s proud of it. As a fellow ass eater, I approve his message - That Oracle and Mistic can go eat a dick! ...
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Spooky Places Cover

SPOOKY PLACES – RED EYE REPORT 213

Tonight we’re talking about spooky places. Do you believe in gagagaghosts? Speaking of spooky places, Ashtray comes to us live from his spooky apartment. Well, I guess it’s not spooky if you’re packing a sawed-off shotgun and have had your orifices sewn shut. I don’t know where the fuck I’m ...
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Pets Cover

MORE PET SHIT – RED EYE REPORT 212

On this episode of the Red Eye Report, we talk about pets. We listen to Oracle’s lies about his triumph of the great flea war, and we bring some fucking sexy. With me this week is Ashtray. Ashtray has a deep pet secret that he doesn't want you to know ...
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Music Cover

MUSIC – RED EYE REPORT 211

In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss Music. We perpetuate the lies of the right wing and as usual, we do drugs? With me this week is the all-seeing Oracle. Oracle’s a musical virtuoso. He was responsible for some of the greatest musical pieces ever written. Beethoven’s ...
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Microplastics Cover

MICROPLASTICS – RED EYE REPORT 210

On tonight’s episode of the Red Eye Report we talk about Microplastics Next to me is Oracle. He’s been having an issue with microplastics lodged in his adrenal gland. Which is really just his excuse for being a raging asshole at the gas station when they run out of cheese ...
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Con Artists Cover

CON ARTISTS – RED EYE REPORT 209

On tonight’s episode of The Red Eye Report, we talk about Con Artists, confidence men, and swinders. With me this week is Telelscam Teddy. He’s wanted in 13 states for his fraudulent deeds. He’s swindled 90 year old widows out of their social security checks. He’s knabbed toothfairy money from ...
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Bullying Cover

BULLYING – RED EYE REPORT 208

In this episode of the Red Eye Report we talk about bullying. We bring a little bit of the sexy, and we vomit uncontrollably as Ashtray rubs his nipples. Speaking of Ashtray, his specialty in bullying information. He either gives too much as the spoiler king of Madison or just ...
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Chaos Theory

CHAOS THEORY – RED EYE REPORT 179

In this week's episode of the Red Eye Report, we talk about Chaos Theory. Apparently, chaos can lead to structure. Who knew? ...
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Men's Rights

MEN’S RIGHTS – RED EYE REPORT 178

This week on The Red Eye Report we ask: Do Men Have Rights? Of course they do...but they might get a bad rap from time to time. We watch a documentary about Men's Rights called The Red Pill, and finally, we bitch about stuff that happened two months ago and ...
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Stadiums

STADIUMS – RED EYE REPORT 177

In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we talk about Stadiums. Big-ass stadiums, extravagant stadiums, useless stadiums, cool stadiums, we've got you covered. We also review the movie Afflicted, and finally, grandpappy Ashtray tells us about Nam ...
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Climate Change

CLIMATE CHANGE – RED EYE REPORT 176

In this episode of the Red Eye Report, we discuss fake Global Warming (just kidding, we're not fucking retarded). We watch Vincent Dinofrio go insane and as usual, we come correct ...
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Dictators

DICTATORS – RED EYE REPORT 175

In this episode of The Red Eye Report, we talk about Dictators. You know Hitler, Saddam Hussein, Kim Jong-un, and Benito Mussolini. Where did they come from? What makes a dictator? What kind of cheese do they like? We also review the movie The Lobster. Spoiler alert – it’s weird ...
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Nukes

NUKES – RED EYE REPORT 174

On this episode of The Red Eye Report, we talk about Nukes. Are we fucked? ...
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