Outline for Red Eye Report

Introduction and Main Conversation (20 minutes): Assassins

Teddy: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jan_Kubi%C5%A1

Ashtray: https://www.awesomestories.com/asset/view/Gavrilo-Princip

Oracle: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Kuklinski

Mistic: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Wilkes_Booth

What’s Sexy (7 minutes): 

Teddy: http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/ahead-of-taxi-protest-france-says-uberpop-to-be-banned/ar-BBgP3Rt?ocid=ansnewsreu11

Ashtray: Paying off Student Loans

Mistic: Federal ban lifted

http://hightimes.com/read/congress-effectively-ends-federal-ban-medical-marijuana

Oracle: Operation Zip Lines

Not So Netflix Movie Review (10 minutes): Killing them softly; Repo! The Genetic Opera

Ask the Idiots

Sally Petersonship from Matinecock NY – for Teddy:
“Do you ever feel guilty, trying to raise a kid, … and you can’t fly out to Seattle to buy your good friend Oracle some coke?”

Fink Summers from Madawaska ME – for Oracle:
“What does it mean, in street lingo, when I hear someone say “I’m rollin’ over this Bitch!”?
I have sources that say you’re fond of the phrase.

Richard the 33rd from Bunkie LA – for Mystic:
“Can you believe with this huge drop in gas prices, and lap dances are going up at least 4% this year?
Damn I miss the rides you could buy in 95’!

Fuck What You Think (7 minutes):

Teddy: Woman not being allowed to watch soccer in Saudi Arabia:

http://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/soccer/female-saudi-fan-red-carded-for-entering-men-only-stadium/ar-BBgN6M9?ocid=anHYPERLINK “http://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/soccer/female-saudi-fan-red-carded-for-entering-men-only-stadium/ar-BBgN6M9?ocid=ansspafp11″sspafp11

Oracle: Sony being Baby Chicken Penises

http://www.cnet.com/news/sony-cancels-the-interview-release/

Mistic: 2 States sue over Marijuana

http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/nebraska-oklahoma-file-suit-against-colorado-over-marijuana-legalization/ar-BBgYdSP

In All Seriousness (3 minutes): In all seriousness, sometimes you just want to watch a fucking soccer game and you don’t have a penis, or you just want to board your plane without Jews being all Jewwy. That’s why we here at the Red Eye Report advocate the death of 85 percent of the world, cause that’s just what has to happen, sorry. I mean think about it. No more lines….anywhere. Plenty of lanes open on your morning commute and most importantly, no more Canadians. That’s our show, make sure you join the conversation at theredeyereport.com or facebook.com/theredeyereport. Like us, Share us or Fuck us, we’re down for whatever. I’m Mistic.

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